


Right Now

by shiverfawkes



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Grief/Mourning, Post-Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Post-Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 21:57:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiverfawkes/pseuds/shiverfawkes
Summary: Mrs Hudson can't take it anymore





	Right Now

Mrs Hudson watched, day in, day out, as John Watson sat in his chair to read the paper.

She tried to keep the house in order, but it was always reset to the mess it was before by the time she popped up the next day. Always in the mess that Sherlock had left it in before it happened.

Before he jumped.

She’d watched as John smashed various mugs of tea on the floor, and added more bullet holes to the wall, and spray painted a bright yellow “SH” over the wallpaper. She watched as he too lost all note of significance for furniture and paraded the living room over the coffee table, as if it were no more than a stepping stone. She watched as he stared into space for hours on end.

She had a right mind to tell him off for the vandalism, but she supposed he was just grieving.

It got too much when he stopped eating. Out of the two of them John was the only one who ate properly.

But sure enough the weight seemed to fall from him with grief wrecking his appetite.

She couldn’t take it anymore, watching him kill himself. She’d already lost one of her boys, hell if she’d lose another.

“John he’s not coming back. There’s no point waiting as if it’s going to happen.” Truth be told, she was just as upset as him to hear the words coming from her mouth. “You have to get over him at some point.”

John stood, and she backed away. But he didn’t move only to turn to face her.

“I know.” The words came out broken and shaky, it was the first time she’d heard him speak in weeks, if not months. He’d stopped going out, refused to see Mycroft or Molly or even Greg, he’d shut himself away from the world.

He didn’t want anybody to see him like this.

 I know all of it. I know that visiting his grave or begging or repeating his own stupid actions will get me nowhere. I _know_.” His voice was quiet, his tone angry and a bitter laugh fell from his chapped lips. “I know that replaying our last conversation, before he jumped off that _bloody_ rooftop will get me nowhere.” His fists clenched, and he avoided Mrs Hudson’s pitying gaze.

“John…” She tried, her voice trailing away as John continued.

“I know that I was happy before I met him. Sometime before then, I know I was. I know I can be happy again _without_ him.” He blinked back tears.

“But its just that, right now… Right _here_ … That sounds really fucking awful.”


End file.
